Empty Hands, Full Heart

When you have nothing to hold, hold on to His hand.

I had a conversation with a friend a week ago that left me reflecting. Reflecting on the countless times I’ve pulled back the curtain to reveal the longing of my heart both privately and publicly. On how long I’ve been in a state of waiting and the realization that in spite of how much time has passed, I’m still waiting. A small part of me didn’t know how to feel about that realization.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
Proverbs 13:12

No matter what it may be, we’re all waiting for something. As we wait, each passing moment chips away at the confidence we have in receiving what we’re waiting for. In these moments, we must turn back to the source of our hope. (Psalm 39:7) But this can be difficult to achieve if we’ve placed our hope outside of Christ.

I remember when and where I misplaced my hope. I was holding my desire so tightly that my hands couldn’t take hold of anything else. My mind couldn’t hold anything else. I woke up thinking about it, went to bed thinking about it, talked about it, prayed about it, daydreamed about it, longed for it, hoped for it, and shed tears for it. It stole more than it gave and I didn’t think I would ever be free of its hold.

I didn’t realize how much of an idol “it” had become until basically reaching the peak of the valley. I felt overlooked, forgotten, and bitter towards God. The only way out of this pit that I could fathom was trading my empty heart for full hands. But God wasn’t having any of that, 🤷‍♀️ so I needed to confront this idol head on.

For most of us, on the other side of our waiting lies a hope that our hands will hold what we’re waiting for. (Preferably sooner than later but we’ll settle for later than not at all.) But how do we prepare for the possibility of not receiving what we’re hoping for?

In 2020 I was faced with an alternative that I hadn’t considered up to that point; not getting what I wanted. (Who would have guessed that?) As if I were trying to catch air, my dream evaded capture leaving only empty hands.

I responded in typical Mac At It Again fashion, processing this new revelation by confronting it with truth and looking at the bible side of things. But I couldn’t rush past the semi-shock and disappointment. I needed to take it all in and allow the process to run its course.

Navigating unanswered prayers is as defining as it is challenging. Whether you’re coming to terms with an answer you weren’t expecting, or waiting for an answer you’ve yet to receive, trusting God in the waiting room requires total assurance of His goodness no matter the outcome.

Fortunately, a not so turned out to be a not yet, which meant my waiting season wasn’t over. I hadn’t received what I was waiting for but I ended up getting something else in return… an open hand.

As I loosened the grip on my desire, it was all I needed to break free from its chains. The work wasn’t complete but it had begun. My hand was opening up again, and as more time passed, the more open it became.

With an open hand I took hold of what I shouldn’t have let go in the first place. The hand that provides all that I need. The hand that will never abandon nor forsake me. The hand that holds the whole world. The hand that lovingly holds mine.

When I think of how much time has passed I no longer see empty hands. I may not be done waiting, and although my circumstances haven’t changed yet, I’ve changed a WHOLE lot. My hope is restored, my faith is strong, and my heart is full.

But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31

If you’re walking through a not yet, place your hope in the One that won’t disappoint. If you’re navigating the pain and disappointment of an unexpected no, seek comfort in the One that is near to the brokenhearted. If you’ve been blessed with the yes you’ve been praying for, enjoy it in all fullness thanking the One that is worthy of all praise.

It’s not easy to run during disappointment or seasons of long suffering, but in times of weariness we can lean on our Father for strength.

I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in Him.
Psalm 40:1-3

No matter what you’re waiting for or how long you’ve been waiting, know that the waiting room isn’t punishment and that time is an ally not an enemy. Release your misplaced hope and hold on to the Father’s unchanging hand.

Let’s Pray

Heavenly Father, thank You for the great plans that you have for me, to give me a hope and a future. Comfort my heart and give me strength and peace that surpasses all understanding. Help me to wait well and to walk by faith, not by sight. Cover me and keep me in every season and restore my hope when all seems lost.

In Jesus name. Amen!